um, yeah, things not have been that rosy here in HK lately... lot of family stress from not being able to do what I want, being dragged to things that I don't want to do, and just general different outlooks, priorities, and prespectives on life here... just really want to get out of here and back to reality... things are getting so bad that I'm on the verge of breaking of communication and acknowledgement of some key family members due to various greievences and not being adequetly heard regarding them... I've really had enough of all of this being lied to, misled, and not being heard... as the family's "great hope" I'm being constantly compared, and I hate that... so what if I didn't get into MIT??? so what if my family couldn't afford to send me to boarding school like the other "great hope"??? I'm sick and tired of it all, I'm happy with who I am, what I do, and where I am... I don't need degrees, or other frivilous bull shit to define who I am... I can only pity those who base their lives around such trivial and fake nonsense to define them, when these things don't matter one bit in the end... I'm asked, why do you volunteer at your aunt's church teaching english when you can make $500 Hong Kong Dollars an hour tutoring english??? well, I respond it is rewarding helping people and teaching them English when they can't afford the classes... then the look at me like I'm an idiot for not working for money, for toilling away in an hot class room without air conditioning, teaching kids simple english...

I'm beginning to see how really fake some of my relatives are... for example, one family member keeps on bringing up the fact that all of his children have gotten into MIT, look at them, I'm so great for getting them into MIT, etc... he then basically makes fun of the fact that I'm going to an Canadian school, not so good, la de la... well, Mr. I'm too good for a Canadian school, wasn't the reason you went to McMaster was because you couldn't get into MIT your self you stupid idiot... I was brought up and taught that words are cheap, try not to brag about your accomplishments, do things quietly and let you actions speak for themselves, and an strong belief that everyone was created equal in God's image... unfortunietly, I'm really beginning to see that some people do not share the same philosophy as I do...

and another thing that irks me, my uncle, known as uncle scar (Watch the Lion King), deliberartly raises up my funding question in front of my relatives today, including my granduncle and grandaunt who are graciously supporting me through grad school... he was asked by my grandparents not to bring the subject up in front of my relatives and what does the stupid idiot do??? then he drones on and on about how his daughter is doing this, that, this, and that essentially showing off to them... my uncle goes in front of our english congregation to "share" about his experiences which are nothing more then rants about how holy he is, how he gives so much money to the church, etc... even though I know I shouldn't judge people harshly, he reminds me of some certain phariases that Jesus warned about... I had enough of all of this fakeness and showing off...

if there's one thing that I'm going to take back from this quagmire that has become this trip, was an better understanding of who I am, what is important to me, and where I stand in the world...

5 more days, 5 more days of this crap then I can come home, to reality, and to real people who acknowledge and care about who you are rather then what you have and don't have...